In Canada and not skiing today.
Conditions didn’t look great and I didn’t sleep well.
It was the right call.
Jay and I took a long walk w/ the puppers and the innkeeper’s dog. We talked more about bio mom and the whole bio family situation as his bio half-brother is here at the inn as well w/ his son (which I guess is sort of Jay’s half-nephew??)
He asked me how I feel about everyone and the situation and I said I’m struggling with it some. It seems it comes w/ a lot of baggage around family in general. It makes me nervous to spend too much time w/ them as then it seems there might be expectations for the future. It definitely has created incredibly weird circumstances.
We talked more about bio mom and about what he’s said to her and where she’s at. I cried and we hugged and shared more.
I am feeling more calm in my body this afternoon. I took a nap. It felt good to ask myself what I wanted to do and then am doing it. I wanted to sit and read and work on my photos.
After skiing yesterday, I was encouraged to see how I can recover w/ the right tools in place.
The conversations we’re having are helping and making this start to regulate in my body. It means everything to me to see my partner reading, “The Body Keeps the Score.” How cool is it that we can finally talk about how trauma has affected us both and get on the same page.