Drive to the south to see Kay. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been there. We’ve been doing video calling due to weather.
Today we focused on this topic with my parents. The bottom line was my ability to say that I’m done making arrangements and being in discussions. Everyone has their bottom of what they’ll put up with. I’m done. I have the freedom to just say that, that I’m done w/ meetings and discussions where we try and convince them. They also have the freedom to keep going and keep putting up with all of this. I’ve probably done too much, but I did most of the financial stuff to some degree for my own peace of mind. Now, I can mostly be done.
I cried. I asked Kay to help me understand maybe what I’m feeling and going through. I need to deal w/ this head on and not just focus all my energy on the enemy, my parents. She reminded me that they are also from the source and not evil people. They have their own journey, and I can create a boundary.
They will never change. My mom will continue to take direction from her husband and do what he says. She will always pick that over anyone else. She will always be an unsafe person. So it’s time to draw the boundary. They want to have it all: being taken care of but be independent when and how they want.
Tonight we all talked as siblings. We’re mostly on the same page. My step-sister and her husband still haven’t drawn the line it seems w/ having them move out. I think her dad is playing her about doing facility tours. I don’t think they are serious about moving out, but maybe they will and are. We’ll see. It feels really good to let them both go emotionally and just move more into a position of planning and executing. Kay suggested I turn all of that over to someone. I’m looking forward to that.
After our family talk, I talked later with just Steve. He was furious. He didn’t get to sleep until 2:30 am last night. He was that upset and disgusted w/ the whole thing. He had a glass of wine and finally went to bed. He got donuts for everyone this morning. He dropped one off my office.
I was bummed he was that upset, and how and where he went with that. He got very angry and just couldn’t settle down. He’s disgusted with them both. He doesn’t know how I’ve been doing it all these years. That felt good to hear.
I’m done! I’m getting out of it all and done calling and talking to my mom. I’ve done a good job getting them ready for the future.