I think that there are a few things that mean more than others when it comes to recovery.
I think people need safety.
I’ve been working a long time to redo my brain and get things less activated, less triggered.
It turns out, what I’ve really needed is to feel safe.
As things stabilize with Jay, I am feeling safer and more connected. He gets it. He sees what’s happened all these years. He sees the lack of connection and how that played out. When someone doesn’t understand connection, all of your concerns or comments about connection seem like exaggerations to said person. It’s tragic.
The only reason that we really get to figure this all out is that we hung in there for 30 years, many of those amazingly beautiful in raising the kids and meeting people. Travel and family as well as a business.
It’s only been the last 7-8 years that things have really decompensated.
The other thing people need is love. Love of THEMSELVES. Belief in themselves.
Once I started believing in myself and loving myself, who be this girl that’s emerging?
Today I felt resilient. There is a calmness that is new. It comes from me finally believing in myself and loving myself as well as feeling safe w/ Jay. Emotionally safe.
It seems therapy needs to start here after someone that isn’t safe is safe. Feeling like you’re valued and feel good about yourself safe in your environment w/ your people, these things have to come before other therapies that focus on other areas. That’s just my opinion.